I'm scared-

This blog post is largely inspired by this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnV9uUjWxJI
I urge you to watch this before continuing.

The current scandal involving the K-Pop singer Kim Hyun-Joong is a story that is simply shocking, but not even for the scandal itself. The response to the scandal from people who are his fans is what shocks and upsets me the most.

The "scandal" is that this man was accused of beating his ex-girlfriend. She has provided copious amounts of evidence to back her accusation (hospital records, photos, text messages) and goes by the name "A". At first even I was shocked to hear this, as having been a fan of this celebrity in the past it felt out of character - I will address this later on. However, upon reading that he released a statement admitting that he had beaten her was enough proof for me (and everyone, I argue) that he IS an abuser and he should be punished for it.

His statement (source):

The agency stated, "After confirming [with Kim Hyun Joong], we found that it's true the two parties have known each other since 2012, but they didn't start dating until a few months ago... In the middle of their relationship, the two had an intense exchange of words. Though it's true that in their heightened emotional state things got physical, it's not true that there was continual physical assaults or that she's been battered and beaten over the past two months like what was reported." 

In terms of the reports that the woman in question suffered fractured ribs, KeyEast said,"Their physical fight was a one time occurrence, and her fractured ribs didn't occur due to their recent argument. Her ribs were injured when they were playing around previously, and the next day, they met with acquaintances. As there didn't seem to be anything abnormal, her injury wasn't recognized."


How genuine does this sound to you?

Whether the statement is completely true or not, he has admitted that he has beaten her, and therefore IS an abuser. The truth is there in black and white. Since then, he has also delivered a consistent statement to the police. While the hard truth is being sugarcoated and the investigation continues, we await his conviction.

Returning to what I said earlier - "even I was shocked to hear this, as having been a fan of this celebrity in the past it felt out of character" - I honestly feel like such a fool, but I am more upset that I am not the only one. The backlash from his fans since the news was first released has been appalling. All over social media sites there have been young girls proclaiming that there is no way he could have done this and they have essentially rejected all claims and have turned to victim shaming instead of looking at the facts. I only hope that now since the release of his statement and his actions thereafter will persuade them to see why their actions were wrong.

This is one of the massive problems with fan culture that needs to be addressed urgently. Celebrities aren't who you think they are. It's as simple as that. In order for them to appeal to their fan-bases, they have agents and PRs who make sure that they are "the perfect person". Of course we all believed that he was a "good guy" - in interviews he's come across as the kind of man who would be a "perfect boyfriend". That's the point. He's a product. His image is being sold to his fans to make him buy-able. Don't believe every single thing you hear.

The fact that so many have been duped by the mask is terrifying. To have had people try and defend his actions and attack the victim seriously make me question whether or not the issues surrounding domestic abuse will ever go away. This isn't the first time we've witnessed extreme action on the internet. The Biebermania also sees vicious attacks on twitter against those to speak ill of Justin Bieber, and in extreme cases has even caused young girls to self harm in order to gain his attention.

In a time where we are finally starting to acknowledge that abuse is a huge problem in society, is this case a sign that more need to be done to show people that abused should never be condoned no matter what the circumstances are.

To end this blog post - which is a complete mess (sorry about that by the way - I haven't written in a long time), I'd like to return to the video that I mentionned right at the beginning of the post. The response to her video has more or less reiterated what I said about scary fangirls/made me more scared. I don't even know anymore.

http://infinitelyinspiritsy.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/delusional-hyun-joong-fans-find-video.html

I don't know how I come across in this but the discussion ought to be had. I have tried to present the facts and give opinions... thoughts?

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Elementary

Being a big fan of the BBC series Sherlock, I, along with many other Sherlockians, was very wary of the new American adaptation of Sherlock Holmes, Elementary. At first, before any of the episodes had aired, the general opinion of Elementary was that it can only be a rip off of Sherlock, considering how quickly it came about after Sherlock series 2 and how the BBC Sherlock team did not give permission for an American version but they did it anyway. What shocked people more was that Jonny Lee Miller, who had co-starred with Sherlock star Benedict Cumberbatch in Frankenstein, would be playing Holmes. Internet forums EXPLODED. Trying to be as unbiased as I could, I tried to stay out of the internet craziness and concentrate on finishing my copy of "Sherlock Holmes: The Complete Stories".

When it first aired a couple of months ago, the positive reviews came pouring in and I was rather excited to see what everyone was hyping about, being the nosey so and so that I am. As soon as it came on Sky Living I watched it, and thought I'd take it all in before I came to a judgement on it. But then decided that I couldn't possibly have an opinion on it after just one episode, and waited until I'd seen the next episode, then the next, and then the one after that. If I'm honest, I was just coming up with excuses to keep watching it. It is genuinely good and I don't think it's fair to just compare it to Sherlock, and I am not just saying that so that I don't have to choose between the two of them. Yes I am...

The pilot episode had to be taken with a pinch of salt. Being biased against the programme didn't help in any way, but we sat down and gave it a chance. Jonny Lee Miller is impeccable. No one can fault his performance as Sherlock Holmes; his take on the character is brilliant. He's strange, rude, and a genius and very witty. My Dad and I gave him the thumbs up immediately. What makes Sherlock a great character is how alien he seems being one of the only Brits in a sea of Americans, making him seem even more unique than before. Even having a female Watson doesn't bother me anymore. The Holmes/Watson dynamic is still intact, although it seemed to take a few episodes for it to get comfortable. I am a big fan of how Holmes treats Watson in Elementary. He sees her as his partner (most of the time), and I can see him treating her as his equal in the near future, as although no one can ever be his intellectual equal, she is ballsy and brave and is picking up many useful skills from Holmes, mirroring the relationship built up by Conan Doyle, in which Watson is able to start making his own deductions and help Holmes a great deal more than their first few cases together. Although the stories were initially slow and not mysterious enough to be worthy of a Holmes story (I figured out one of the murderers before Holmes even found the evidence that led to it once!) once they picked up speed they started to boggle your mind and have you amazed at the conclusion.

Small tributesto the original Conan Doyle stories are seen, even though the stories are brand new, such as the classic love interest speculation surrounding 'The Woman', Irene Adler, and Captain 'Gregson', the American version of Lestrade. I must nag a tiny bit about certain things, however. After coming across a random review comparing BBC Sherlock to Elementary on Tumblr, I've started to get annoyed at small things in the show. At first, I was really happy about the fact that Sherlock was a recovering drug addict and was open about his sex life; it seems like a very Sherlock-thing to do, and instantly made him different to Cumberbatch's Sherlock. BUT, this magazine had decided that they preferred Miller's version because he had his top off and it was 'yummy'? I disagree. Cumberbatch does not need to take his shirt off to impress the female audience. He didn't even show his arms or legs in any episodes and girls still swooned. And it's not like Miller would need to do that either, if I'm honest, as his Sherlock, despite his oddball arrogance, is also quite charming as well as witty and, obviously, intelligent. Taking his shirt off is part of the way his character does things, not necessarily because they need more lusting females watching it. (At least, I hope not...)

Other things that are getting on my nerves are things that are similar to Sherlock. It has to be said. Despite the different styles of both shows - Elementary being like CSI and BBC Sherlock being like short feature films - the music is unbelievably similar, as is the idea of the last frame on the opening sequence. I'm just very glad that text on the screen as Holmes makes his deductions was not included in this list, otherwise I know a few thousand people who would not be impressed at all.

Overall, I'm quite happy to watch Elementary, which is a brilliant adaptation of the Sherlock Holmes stories. Most of the people I've talked to about it have really enjoyed it, and other recent adaptations like the Guy Ritchie Films starring Robert Downey Jnr and Jude Law, who also make a fantastic traditional Holmes/Watson duo. I'm really curious to see how things progress and if there will be. Moriarty and a Moran reincarnation popping up at some point before the first season ends, and where they will take the Irene storyline. If you're a fan of Sherlock Holmes, or detective stories in general then I'd recommend it.

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Visual Stunners - part i

I have a thing for pretty movies. It's not really much of a secret. If a film has been shot well, then I tend to forget plot holes and small errors and just enjoy it. This post has been sitting in draft since August 2013, and since it has taken so long for me to return to this blog, I don't think people will mind if I break it up into bite-size chunks.

This first film is one of my favourite films and I absolutely did not mind rewatching it a few times to perfect this post. The cast is wonderful, the design and cinematography is breath-taking and the story is told in exactly the right way, in my opinion.

A Single Man (2009) - Tom Ford



Tom Ford's directorial debut does not disappoint. In this category of beautiful and stylish films, A Single Man is the first that came to mind when I compiled a list of "visual stunners". It's hard to describe without giving anything away, but it is the tale of a man, George (Colin Firth), who is having to cope with the sudden death of his partner, Jim (Matthew Goode). Without his lover he has lost sight of his future, and the film is set on the last day of his life. With a 60s backdrop and a fashion designer directing, the film does not fail to impress visually. The film is comprised of flashbacks intertwined with the events that occur on this day, and his love story is unraveled as the story goes on.

Colour is used really well, which I felt was important for the viewer, especially with regards to the flashback scenes. George's memories are our only windows into his soul and the only way we can understand his strange behaviour and decisions. Colour plays an important part in this as it gives us an indicator as to how he feels about each moment. George's wardrobe is monochromatic; everyday he wears the same thing - a black suit, a new white shirt and a skinny black tie. This is a] what was in fashion (and still is), b] a suggestion that he likes things to be structured and now that Jim is not around there is nothing compelling him to be different and c] perhaps he is still mourning Jim? After all, Jim is the love of his life.

Generally, every frame, every word spoken and every word left unspoken is striking, and the fact that everyone is extremely well dressed just puts the icing on the cake. Tom Ford's eye for style and imagery s a real delight and makes the story stay with you long after you watch it - "Fashion is fleeting, but film is forever."

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I am an idiot.

For the first time in a long time, I have had a good day.

I have no idea why I was blessed with a good day, but I was. Until 5 minutes ago I had not been angry, or sad, and I talked a lot and I laughed and I smiled. These days are very rare for me. Spending more time with like-minded people put me in a good place and I got to be the person that I wanted to be for a while, knowing what I wanted to do and being inspired to get on with things - my EPQ project, this blog, etc.

I sat down at my desk, in a good mental place to finish writing one of the many posts that I have had in draft since August. This post was a masterpiece. It was a collection of my favourite "visual stunners". So, what did I do? I DELETED THE ENTIRE POST. I give up. I honestly just give up.

Posts on this blog will become more frequent in the coming weeks, when I stop crying about the blog I just deleted, since the "fans" have been begging to see another post.

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Long time, no see.

Is it acceptable for me to return to blogging after constantly promising that I'd devote more time to it but then not posting anything for 3 months? Unfortunately, life got in the way again.

I've generally kept this to myself since it started, but now seems like the perfect time to get it off my chest.
Year 12 has been the hardest year of my life. I am aware of how awfully stupid that may sound to the old and wise, who will be thinking "Wait until you go to University!" or "Wait until the tax man comes knocking!" or whatever, but honestly - I know. So shut up. Let me wallow in my self pity until the next obstacle comes along, thank you very much.

Not only were my AS exams a lot more difficult than I anticipated, I was under a lot of pressure to do well at school consistently, not burn myself at work [if you have ever worked in a kitchen when it is really busy, you will understand my pain] and have to cope with the deterioration of one of my closest family members. In March, my Nan was diagnosed with breast cancer. During the Easter holidays, she suddenly started experiencing pain - the most pain she had ever felt in her life - and was admitted to hospital. She stayed there for a few days and was then moved to the Marie Curie Hospice in Solihull, where she stayed until she passed away on 25th May. During this time I was also meant to be revising for my AS exams, which went extremely badly, despite everyone telling me that I'm overreacting about it all. Either way, I've just been extremely unlucky but it's something that I've lived it and I wouldn't take any of it back.

However, it's not all doom and gloom. Since then, things have improved quite dramatically. On 1st May, I was appointed as House Captain of Warwick House at school [What team? WARWICK! What team? WARWICK! Warwick! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!] and I have a lovely shiny badge that I wear on my YSL blazer with pride. As a House Captain I feel like I've already done so much to contribute to our school's community, including saying the word "community" about 5 times in one minute when improvising a congratulatory speech on the last day of school. We organised/ran two major school events after we returned from study leave in June: Sports Day and House Festival - only a Camphillian could ever understand how much fun House Festival is. Although it was stressful, and a few small organisational issues made things hard on the day, House Festival was a huge success and most definitely THE BEST ONE EVER.

I've found that coping with and adapting to change extremely challenging, mainly because everything that happened so fast this year, but also because I don't want things to change. I don't want to grow up. I don't want to face my future. It's a bit silly, seeing as it's inevitable, but I really just want to sit down, enjoy my hobby and drink iced tea forever. I'm also really indecisive and I am scared to change because I don't want to regret anything I do, although ironically, this has meant that I've barely done anything, which I regret.

I don't really know where this blog post is going now. I started off begging for forgiveness, then I filled in the gaps that have been left open since I accidentally abandoned fionasbugle and now I've confessed my fears about the inevitability of growing up.

This has been a filler post. I have 5 posts lined up which should hopefully be up over the next few days. I also have another project that I'd like to share with anyone who takes time out to read my confusing blog entries - you must either really like films or really love me, which is definitely what I'll be needing to help me make this project a success.

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Top 3: Musicals

I suppose I've always loved a good show, and as soon as they make a film adaptation I fall in love with it, simply because I can watch and appreciate it whenever I please. Not every adaptation can live up to the Show, but there are a few exceptions.



The first of these is Top Hat. I believe that this was a film first and was then brought to the stage. It's brilliant. I personally have a huge thing for the 1930s - everything about it intrigues me from the fashion and music, to the shifts in society to the economic crises (can you tell I'm a history student?). Astaire and Rogers are an ideal duo and their chemistry is brilliant. The film is exactly how I think most people look back and remember the 1930s, except not everybody could sing and tap dance. I went to go and see the show last year with my nan and thoroughly enjoyed it, and our favourite song was "Cheek to Cheek". It's wonderful and light, easy to watch, funny, beautifully performed and easy to sing along to. Well worth a watch.



A childhood favourite of mine is Bugsy Malone. When I was in year 6 we decided to do our own version of Bugsy Malone for our end of year assembly. Unfortunately, I didn't get to take part because I went on holiday so I painted sets and joined in the choir, and I still regret not taking part to this day, even though I couldn't do anything about it. I liked the idea that it was a bunch of children in an adult world. The gangster theme and the weirdly likeable characters made the whole film enjoyable, and the songs are brilliant. It's weird to think that Jodie Foster was Tallulah. Weird. Weird. Weird. Buy the soundtrack, watch the film. You won't regret it.



Last but certainly not least, is Moulin Rouge. I just needed to fit it in somewhere. To me, this film is the epitome of perfection. I am a fan of Baz Luhrmann's style and even though I haven't been able to fully appreciate it up until now, it's always been a favourite film of mine. Two beautiful leads, an odd but strangely fairytale-like storyline and some stellar performances; what's not to love? A day does not go by without "Elephant Love Medley" being sung dramatically by me.
Jim Broadbent, Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor are truly magnificent and the song selection is brilliant and perfect. Okay. Bye.

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Live Below The Line 2013

So, as usual, this blog post comes with an introductory apology for my lack of posts. It's been a busy however-long-it's-been but now I do have things to share.

Some of you may be aware of the Enough Food IF Campaign - a campaign backed by over 150 charities to mark 2013 as the beginning of the end of world hunger. It's hard to believe that now, in 2013, world hunger is still a growing problem, with 1.2 billion people living below the poverty line, internationally defined as living on £1 a day or less. I probably spend more than that on my lunch alone. In a modern world full of 'we should be equal' and human rights, why is World Hunger still a thing?

Anyone can sign up and support the IF Campaign. Just google it and read about it. The campaign aims to tackle 4 problems: Aid, Land, Tax and transparency. To read about these, visit the website. Http://enoughfoodif.org/issues

This past week (29th April-3rd May) was the week of the Live Below The Line challenge. This meant living on £1 a day for 5 days to experience what it could possibly be like for someone living in extreme poverty. Of course, it's near impossible to know exactly what it's like. The £1 a day is just for food. We are still able to get the bus to school, drink clean water, come home and watch TV by the radiator; small things that one who lives in extreme poverty cannot do, and that most of us take for granted.

This week I lived on £1 a day for 5 days. For those of you who know me well, you are aware of how major this is. I am the daughter of a chef/waitress. Food has never been a problem for me, despite the current economic problems that have affected most in Britain today. I am a compulsive snacker, known for wolfing down everything and anything out of boredom. Effectively, I eat around 5 mini meals a day instead of the standard 3 square meals a day. This suits me well - I don't sit at the table with my family for dinner. I eat when I please and I fit my work around that. Upon discovering the IF Campaign on Twitter, I realised that this is a really bad thing. Perhaps it's unfair to be hard on myself, seeing as I've grown up to be this way, but in the grand scheme of things I just eat whatever I want and not what I need. I am guilty of greed.

This week I, and a few fellow classmates at college, did the challenge. I personally gave up meat for a week, something that shocked those closest to me. I have also lived without tea and coffee and crisps and brownies. Things that I deem necessary for my survival. I thought that the first day would be the hardest, seeing as I would have just thrown myself into a diet with fewer calories and nutrients etc. my diet mainly consisted of toast, egg and rice, with a baked potato as a treat on the last day. This was all very bland and unappetising, so I was generous with my seasoning to help me get through it all. I drank more water this week than I ever have in my life. I did lots of homework without a mug of black coffee by my side.

For most of the week, I coped really well, which I think surprised everyone, given my food history, but suddenly everything changed on the Friday. I came into school and ate my tiny everyday-value-apple as breakfast part i, as I had done every day. It suddenly wasn't enough. I had to wait two hours for breakfast part ii - 2 pieces of toast with spreadable cheese - and it was unbearable. My stomach ached, and I had to lie down or curl up into a ball to tame the pain. It even got to a point where I was lying down in the corner of my French class trying not to vocalise my pain - this made a very amusing anecdote, however, as my French teacher did not comment on the fact that I suddenly popped up out of nowhere halfway through to join in the lesson. I ate my toast and I thought I would be fine, until I walked up the millions of stairs up to my next lesson and the pain came back, along with a sudden wave of lethargy. I distracted myself with the fine potato I'd be eating at lunch while everyone else commented on how delirious I'd become in the space of a few hours. Lunch time came around and the microwaves in our common room had broken, so we ventured down to the food-tech room to cook our last Below The Line lunch. It didn't quite fill me up, so by the time I got to my physics lesson I was in absolute agony. I don't know why. But, I believe this to be what hunger feels like. I had planned to have a midnight feast to celebrate completing the challenge, but instead I made a roast pork meal for my family, ate my last ever Below The Line meal and went to bed at 6.30. I woke up later at 10.30 to post an early tweet of congratulations and relief, but managed to keep myself up until midnight to mark that the week was officially over. Since finishing the challenge, I've eaten an apple, an small orange and a piece of toast. The aching feeling inside has not yet gone away.

The challenge has taught me a lot. As clichéd as its sounds, I definitely appreciate food much more. I took care to cook everything properly and not be wasteful. I learned more about nutrition as people reassured me that it must be challenging because of the lack of x, y and z in my diet. I now appreciate my weekly shop at Tesco a lot more, because my budgeting and rationing was organised right down to the minute I'd be eating my snack apple and how much water I'd need to drink in each lesson to keep me sane.

Although the challenge is over, our fundraising does not end here. I am still looking for sponsors, and at school I will be organising a few small fundraising events such as a Come Dine Below The Line for the 6th Formers and a sweepstake with neat little prizes.

If you are interested in the cause then please consider sponsoring me for my efforts and checking out the IF Campaign and UNICEF websites for more information on how to get involved.

Sponsor me here: http://livebelowtheline.com/me/fionawild
IF Campaign:
http://enoughfoodif.org
UNICEF UK:
http://www.unicef.org.uk/enough-food-for-everyone-if/

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